to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions.
Another thing is I noticed is that not just in romantic stories but in many non romantic show or dramas indian or foreign, there are old people especially old men who are shown very very rude and mean to younger people especially younger girls and there is always this subtext or commentary by other people that " ye toh nariyal jaise hai inka dil toh sone ka hai vo care karte islie daant te and rude hai " but we are actually never shown that care or love or anything. All we see are bitter old man with huge power imbalance in our society being bitter and spiteful towards their partners or younger women in general. Case in point yeh hai Mohabbatein raman bhalla towards ishita. I watched it in childhood still I feel he was a dick towards everyone especially his kids and his wife . Khair I was actually thinking about this since long . Thank you for your piece. It made me think
I totally agree, no one watches the emotional exhaustion the woman has to go through.they just hid behind the glory of the trope that at the end it's the men you get to choose who get to decide who is worthy enough for their love.
This is probably how unhealthy relationships are built. I too chased a girl and when she mocked I pulled away and worked on myself but now she is the one orbiting me but deep down you know that it's not love but curiousity and ego that makes her watch me .
I chased a guy, n he kept ignoring me. N I turned the plot, I ignore him now and he wants to be around me always. I don't think so love is supposed to feel this way.
Bro , I know this feeling. Unless you have absolutely no feelings for this person I am sure that everytime they glance at you or being around you , the heart always keeps hoping that maybe they finally understand your worth and things will eventually get better . But in most cases ( my case 😭🤣) it's probably just ego and they are just curious because you have pulled away , they don't really have any romantic interest and when this realisation hits , you will feel so hollow , rage and angry because not only they don't want you , they are giving you that hope .
So true . And honestly this trope is kinda triggering to watch too and it's not even entertaning. Agreed with every word you wrote . We need better love stories and better men , well atleast in fiction
It reminds me of "Rains in Espana" over which I've seen girls obsessing like the way luna had to go through all the emotional labour to change kalix is even worth it. It's so dumb show I've not even watched it but the shorts in my feed were enough to give me ick.
So true, i dropped watching Descendants of sun because of the same reason. Cant see worth where you keep person around but also cant commit. Say what you want and communicate properly.
preach! it’s just fiction but it really shapes how we view love and what we view as normal or good in love. I hadn’t even noticed these flaws silently creeping up in the examples you had given. I love this:)
Also, I have already known you from instagram and yours was the first account recommended to me here on substack. You’re quite a rare find<3
The reason why young love often fails is because young girls fantasize this toxic trope of love they see on screens and wish for a similar plot to unfold in their lives and when they actually live through it, they realise how they've been deceived into believing surrender as love. I'm glad you wrote about it. Also, I needed someone to back me up on rory and jess being toxic for each other. So, Thank you for validating that. I mean why do people idealise their ship. How is saying I love you and then disappearing romantic?
You are right. In fact when i watched the mv of this show before deciding to watch it, this was the thing that was disturbing to me. Yes, I get it was just a show and all that creative liberty but still, shows are just a mirror of the real life.
Especially coffee and vanilla! That show was straight manipulation. Think about it, a new girl in the college, young, naive and innocent and a man comes out of nowhere and claims her as his. Not only they don't date, but straight to kiss?
I have a friend and this is what happened to her. She chased the guy and was telling so many mean things about her, not treating her well, for nearly one year. When she decided to move on and started dating other men, he was mad at first, tried to get her attention back and when she told him she was not interested anymore, he started pursuing her saying he was madly in love with her. She accepted to become his girlfriend and all of that make me sick to the stomach.
You could try Summer Strike. The love story is really sweet, but the side plots make it lose a bit of its charm because of the writing. Still, I’d say give it a shot!
to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions.
Another thing is I noticed is that not just in romantic stories but in many non romantic show or dramas indian or foreign, there are old people especially old men who are shown very very rude and mean to younger people especially younger girls and there is always this subtext or commentary by other people that " ye toh nariyal jaise hai inka dil toh sone ka hai vo care karte islie daant te and rude hai " but we are actually never shown that care or love or anything. All we see are bitter old man with huge power imbalance in our society being bitter and spiteful towards their partners or younger women in general. Case in point yeh hai Mohabbatein raman bhalla towards ishita. I watched it in childhood still I feel he was a dick towards everyone especially his kids and his wife . Khair I was actually thinking about this since long . Thank you for your piece. It made me think
I totally agree, no one watches the emotional exhaustion the woman has to go through.they just hid behind the glory of the trope that at the end it's the men you get to choose who get to decide who is worthy enough for their love.
This is probably how unhealthy relationships are built. I too chased a girl and when she mocked I pulled away and worked on myself but now she is the one orbiting me but deep down you know that it's not love but curiousity and ego that makes her watch me .
Looking forward for the suggestion
I chased a guy, n he kept ignoring me. N I turned the plot, I ignore him now and he wants to be around me always. I don't think so love is supposed to feel this way.
Bro , I know this feeling. Unless you have absolutely no feelings for this person I am sure that everytime they glance at you or being around you , the heart always keeps hoping that maybe they finally understand your worth and things will eventually get better . But in most cases ( my case 😭🤣) it's probably just ego and they are just curious because you have pulled away , they don't really have any romantic interest and when this realisation hits , you will feel so hollow , rage and angry because not only they don't want you , they are giving you that hope .
It just hurts
also, they just give me bread crumbs everytime and then again pull back. So it makes me think those bread crumbs is love.
I have been through this 😭😭🙏
It feels like they would comeback soon but they never intended on that .
So true . And honestly this trope is kinda triggering to watch too and it's not even entertaning. Agreed with every word you wrote . We need better love stories and better men , well atleast in fiction
It reminds me of "Rains in Espana" over which I've seen girls obsessing like the way luna had to go through all the emotional labour to change kalix is even worth it. It's so dumb show I've not even watched it but the shorts in my feed were enough to give me ick.
So true, i dropped watching Descendants of sun because of the same reason. Cant see worth where you keep person around but also cant commit. Say what you want and communicate properly.
preach! it’s just fiction but it really shapes how we view love and what we view as normal or good in love. I hadn’t even noticed these flaws silently creeping up in the examples you had given. I love this:)
Also, I have already known you from instagram and yours was the first account recommended to me here on substack. You’re quite a rare find<3
AMEN! Honestly, I had never fully realized just how many TV-relationships where built on this, that's crazyy!
Very well written, enjoyed every second of it.
oh dear god! I relate to this closely! I’d stopped reading or watching rom “coms” for a while because I felt tired of this very trope.
The reason why young love often fails is because young girls fantasize this toxic trope of love they see on screens and wish for a similar plot to unfold in their lives and when they actually live through it, they realise how they've been deceived into believing surrender as love. I'm glad you wrote about it. Also, I needed someone to back me up on rory and jess being toxic for each other. So, Thank you for validating that. I mean why do people idealise their ship. How is saying I love you and then disappearing romantic?
Every word of this felt like an exhale I didn’t know I was holding.
I’m so done with romanticizing emotional neglect as “slow burn.”
Subscribed immediately. Your writing is fierce, honest, and exactly what we need more of in 2025.
I write in the same emotional vein — about self-worth, soft rage, and walking away. Would love to have your eyes on my work too if it resonates.
Letters From The Edge 💌
You are right. In fact when i watched the mv of this show before deciding to watch it, this was the thing that was disturbing to me. Yes, I get it was just a show and all that creative liberty but still, shows are just a mirror of the real life.
Especially coffee and vanilla! That show was straight manipulation. Think about it, a new girl in the college, young, naive and innocent and a man comes out of nowhere and claims her as his. Not only they don't date, but straight to kiss?
God!!
I have a friend and this is what happened to her. She chased the guy and was telling so many mean things about her, not treating her well, for nearly one year. When she decided to move on and started dating other men, he was mad at first, tried to get her attention back and when she told him she was not interested anymore, he started pursuing her saying he was madly in love with her. She accepted to become his girlfriend and all of that make me sick to the stomach.
You could try Summer Strike. The love story is really sweet, but the side plots make it lose a bit of its charm because of the writing. Still, I’d say give it a shot!
I definitely agree with this